8 Tips for Getting Along with Housemates…

I think the champers has made my head fuzzy

How to keep things cruisy with housemates

Some problems break up share-houses time and time again. Read on to learn how to avoid them!

These kinds of common conflicts can even destroy really great friendships. But if you go in with your eyes open and head off trouble, hopefully you can keep things cruisy at home.

Hint: See Getting along with housemates for more tips, plus advice on what to do if things do go awry.

Five common problem triggers

These are situations that could have a significant effect on your new living arrangements, but handled properly will make your new life hassle-free.

Potential Problem #1 – Moving in with friends

Getting a house with buddies can add a whole new level of extra fun. Nothing’s as cool as finding your team then hanging at home together. BUT it will only work if you start off with a good understanding of what to expect, and you have clear boundaries.

Tip #1: Boundaries are super-important for friends who move in together.

Tip #2: Living together is about more than getting along – you have to be fairly compatible in habits (is he a slob but you’re a neat freak? Uh oh!), plus not live in each other’s pockets or you’ll get sick of each other.

Tip #3: Ideally, if you’re moving in with friends, make sure you keep your own life and some of your own friends.

Case study: Housemate from hell

Busting to move out of home, Dizzy (yep, not her real name) found a place with a former school friend. At first it was heaps of fun – decorating with beanbags and candles and enjoying the freedom to stay out late drinking vodka and raspberry. But soon cracks started appearing.

Dizzy made new friends and was less available. She started getting cranky phone calls from her housemate.
Then she noticed her toothbrush was wet each day as though used. She started carting a new one around.
Next, clean clothes in the cupboard turned up smelling of smoke and BO – obviously worn then put back. Then her underwear started disappearing.
Finally, when she woke up to her friend in bed staring at her, that was it – she asked to break the lease, and, luckily, in her case, the landlord agreed.

Of course, not everyone will fixate on their flatmate and turn into the psycho from “Single White Female” (a pretty cool movie, actually), but moving out is a huge emotional change, and anyone will get irrational, angry or upset at times. It can be trickier to manage boundaries if you’re friends first, then housemates.

That’s not to say it can’t be awesome if you give each other some space. Remember the famous saying? Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Make sure you get some.

Potential Problem #2 – Sex can be trouble

Tip #4: Be tolerant of your flatmate.

Many a household has fallen apart when mates live together, especially if one hooks up and the other stays solo. You might get annoyed by the lovey-dovey kissy-kissy, or even miss your old buddy. Try to grin and bear it, who knows, in a month or two it could be you acting crazy pathetic.

Worst case, you could even have a fling with your bestie’s partner. Yes, that old clichéd love triangle is a cliché for a reason. When people spend heaps of time together, one thing can (and often does) lead to another; wink, wink. But shagging a friend’s partner? Bye bye friendship. Hello, freaky talk show topic.

Remember that even if you get on really well, seem made for each other, have had too much to drink etc., each decision you make WILL, sadly, be with you for life…and possibly on facebook. Plus it’s never as exciting in the cold, hard light of day. Just like having an affair, the grass isn’t often greener in the end.

Tip #5: If in doubt, don’t do it.

Potential Problem #3 – Moving in with partners

It can be a problem if things go pear-shaped and you’re stuck with each other and a lease you can’t get out of. No matter how hunky-dory it is now, it’s always a risk (seen the divorce rate lately?). At least go in with your eyes open and be clear on who owns what and whose name everything is in.

Tip #6: Make sure you’re protected, just in case.

Starts off gr8, but who knows when things might turn frosty?

Variety is the spice of life

Differences make life interesting as long as you respect them – they can make for a really fun experience, and you can learn heaps of new stuff.

You might think you’d struggle to get along with someone seriously different to yourself, but scratch the surface and we’re not that different – we all eat, drink, sleep and shit, after all.

Potential Problem #4 – Everyone has different tastes

Tip #7: People’s culinary likes and dislikes vary a lot but would it kill you to try something new? You’ll never know if you don’t try.

Of course, if some foods are out due to allergies or religion, make this clear at the start. Or if you’ve got a fussy nose and strong smells like curry, salt fish, stinky cheeses, seafood etc. make you gag, tell your prospective housemates.

You never know, though, try it and you might like it – didn’t you ever read ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ ?

Case study: What the hell is that smell?

Darla searched high and low for the cat poo she could smell in the room. Her flatmate kept watching tv, eating steadily.

“Hey Darla, try this”, she said.

“Sorry Pip, can’t you smell that the cat’s done a crap?”

Finally, it turned out the rancid smell was actually the stinky snack Pip was eating. Durian cake — looks bad, literally smells like shit (and tastes gross too…). But that’s just my opinion. And I like anchovies. Different strokes and all.

Potential Problem #5 – Dress codes

If you’re used to modest dress and you’ll be disturbed if someone flashes the flesh, ask about it. If people wander around half naked it’s unlikely to be the place for you. And if you’re anal about hygiene, you’re unlikely to like your flatmate’s hairy butt on your clean couch, or any other parts, anywhere, probably.

Ditto if you’re a casual flesh-flasher looking to move into a conservative environment.

Tip #8: My advice? Check the general vibe of the place before you strip off and waltz naked to the bathroom.

Hilarious reading alert!

For heaps of funny stories about flatmates from hell, read ‘He died with a felafel in his hand’ by John Birmingham. It’s hysterical, and pretty informative. I actually recognised a few of my former flatmates.

Pranks For Housemates…

#wasted #prank — I’m just really tired…and kind of sticky…

Pranks for your roomies

Once you’ve found the right roomies, you’ll probably want to prank them at some stage, as long as it’s good, clean (well, maybe not so clean) fun.

Stupid pranks go with the territory – just don’t hurt anyone.

I just wish I’d seen the mobile phone cookie prank before I got a fine for talking on my phone while driving…check it out on my twitter feed via BestPranks@Derpey. The cops rock up to fine you, and chomp, take a bite of your phone and ask them if cookies are illegal. Hehe.

Always in style pranks

Yep, these pranks are the oldies-but-goodies that never go out of fashion. How can you go wrong with a few simple tools that make such a big impact?

#leavingthenest — Toilet paper? Or a prankster’s kit essential?

After everyone’s gone to bed for the night you sneak out to do the old plastic wrap under the toilet seat. Your roommate heads to the bathroom in the night and #eeew!
Need a break from each other? Maybe you feel your flatmate needs some time out? Simple! All it takes is a roll of duct tape across their door and you can breathe in that sweet serenity. Well, until they get themselves out anyway…
Unscrew your shower-head and put a food powder like beef or chicken stock, or an instant drink mix like Tang or Nesquik inside. Mmmm, tasty shower. Best served up with a stonking hangover.
T-P someone’s room (a.k.a. wrap everything in toilet paper). You can do this to whole houses too, but it’s not very good for the environment. But I suppose little old you isn’t doing that much environmental vandalism. You recycle, right? Ok, so grab an extra pack of toilet paper in your shop and head to your target’s house late in the dark night (this is definitely more fun to do together with friends). Be creative, throw a few rolls over the roof and trees, wrap the mailbox and shrubs and fences, even leave a cute driveway message in flour. If you’re just doing their room, carefully wrap each item then replace.
Another handy room trick is to fill a bedroom with scrunched-up newspaper. Who said newspapers are redundant these days? So cheap, plus so infuriating for your flatmate to have an avalanche of ‘prepared earlier’ paper tumble out. Then they can catch up on the daily news while they clean up! Thanks guys…
A pack of balloons also doesn’t cost much, although they’ll be hard to blow up if you’re smokers. Yet another reason to quit (see smoking stuff and party drugs for useful links to help). But if you have the lungs, fill that room with colour! And plenty of annoying balls of rubber, before your buddy gets home.

This sounds like a hard one to pull off, but with some good superglue you could probably do it. Rumour has it that it’s happened, but if you’ve pulled it off, I’d love to see a pic! Glue your housemate’s furniture to the ceiling — hopefully they don’t have much (this could theoretically be nasty if it wrecks their stuff though).

Trick questions

Can you keep a straight face? If so, you can pull these pranks off.

Innocently ask your flatmate how their balance is. Let them see you trying to balance a beer on the back of your hand. Ask them, “can you balance these beers on the back of your hands?” Put them on. Walk away.
Is your flatmate keen for some extra cash? Tell them you’re a bit bored, but you’ll give them some cash if you can spice things up a bit by cracking a couple of eggs on their head. Crack one then leave. No cash required. Smirk.

Cold shoulder pranks

These pranks require a little forward planning. That is, you have to put stuff in water and hide it in your freezer.

#1 Freeze stuff that’s important to them. Like car keys. Credit card. Entire cutlery drawer in a ziplock bag of water.

#2 Who doesn’t love the plastic bug in an icecube gag? It’s best to make use of their fave phobia (spider, cockroach, fly etc), and grab some fakes from a toy, joke or discount store. Just place the bugs into an icecube tray, cover with water and freeze, then voila! Make your buddy a refreshing beer, cocktail, cordial or whatever after their long day’s work or study and wait for the drama to unfold.

Refrigerator pranks

It always comes back to food…

Remove their food from the packaging, replace it with something else, then retape it or glue it up. It’s best to use something that they love or are looking forward to eating, like chocolate (preferably that you also love, since it’ll need to be disposed of. Wink, wink). Swap it for something that feels the same. Wait.
So you have a veggie housemate who doesn’t eat food with a face? Give everything a face! Go crazy with the fridge and cupboard. Draw faces on with permanent marker or, better still, grab some stick on craft googly eyes from a fabric or discount store and dress up those innocent pickles, carrots, tofu packs and sauces. Gasp at them in shock as they grab an apple…with a face.

Noisy, annoying shit

Yeah, they’ve probably pissed you off with their music, or shagging or random late night stoner convos at some point. Get them back!

Hide an alarm clock in your roomie’s bedside, under their bed, or wherever, and set it to some freaky hour. Better still, hide a few, and stagger the times.
Use a phone call app like phone gangster to call your housemates at an unhealthy hour, then enjoy the chaos until they work out what the hell is going on.

Best happy-snaps

Yep, we all love sharing those pics. Instagram, facebook, twitter, pinterest…you want plenty of fresh material for your posts. These should help!

Ah, good old shaving cream! So many uses, except for shaving, that is (come on, who actually bothers?). Use it to decorate your buddy when they’re a little, ahem, under the weather, and don’t forget to take a cute snap or ten for social media. Plus ask them if you can share, then add it to our comments or twitter feed or fb.
This kind of trick also works well with a mask made out of kiddie slime (grab a tub cheap from toy shops, and simply pull it out flat like a slimy pancake, and shape a couple of holes for eyes, then gently ease it over your flatmate’s face. Kind of like a cheap spa facial with that added hint of instant scary. See pic at start.).
Or maybe decorate their car for them with plenty of shaving cream when they’re out. Look at it as a bit of fun, PLUS helping them out if it’s dirty. Sooo considerate.
Is your housemate considering a moustache? Or maybe they just can’t grow a thick bushy or fancy-shaped one, no matter how they try? Perhaps they’re female but you think they’d look kinda cute with a mo? Wait until they’re passed out from exhaustion or whatevs one night then help them out by drawing on a ‘stache in permanent marker so they can try before they buy. Don’t do it before a wedding or special occasion though. That’s a bit too mean.

No boring cars allowed! Is your flatmate’s car too plain? Add some bumper stickers. Show them a brave new world.

Conservative type? Pop a ‘one nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day’, ‘vote green, democrats, labor or whatever’, or maybe even ‘chase rainbows’ or something else kinda sweet.
More of an alternative hipster? Plaster on some ‘I love shooting, hunting, fishing’ stickers, or maybe something more retro for your feminist flattie. Like a quote from Real Housewife of New Jersey’s book: ‘A woman needs to keep herself in shape. She has to be seductive…And most important she has to be available for sex.’ Or maybe, ‘I’m the woman, and I do the female things, including housework.’ Thanks, Melissa Gorga!

Halloween at home

There’s nothing funnier than a pretend person looming out of the dark…

Make a stuffed dummy out of pillows, sheets and your roommate’s clothes, then pop it somewhere they can’t avoid it, like the hallway or even sitting on the toilet.
Even better? Sometimes 2nd-hand stores sell cheap clothing mannequins. There are just so many prank uses for these. Dress it up and freak out your flatmates. Tie a rope to it and slide it over the balcony as drunk party peeps wander past your place. Dress it in a balaclava and pop it into your housemate’s bed while they’re asleep. If you can’t wait for the reaction, grab a broom handle and poke them from afar to wake them. Record it for posterity.

Please share your pranks! Add to the comments, or like us on social media & post. Sign up on the homepage to join LtN & stay up to date with new articles.

Getting Along With Housemates

Sharing a house with other people can be a blast – whether you’re with mates or with people you’ve just met. Best case scenario, you’ll make friends for life, learn heaps and have a ball.

It’s often little things that turn into big problems and blow everything apart.

Maybe you keep your tomato sauce (or ketchup for the Yanks) in the cupboard, but your flatmate likes it in the fridge? Perhaps she hates the toilet seat up? One of you leaves the pegs on the line, the other prefers them put away?

Remember, keeping the peace is a good goal, so try to take the higher ground – in the big picture, does it really matter if your ketchup’s cold?

Great expectations

Ok, so it’s different strokes for different folks, but you need to make sure your strokes fit together…if you know what I mean.

Some stuff is pretty essential to get sorted early so you all know what to expect, like, for example:

What stuff do you all need to do?

Be fair and do your share, for example. Don’t expect your flatmates to pick up after you, or you should expect trouble – your flatmates aren’t your slaves. Change the toilet roll. Pick up your own dirty clothes. Use the toilet brush and wipe the seat if you need to. Remember, if you don’t do it, no one else will – Mum’s not going to do it, is she? Just like you probably don’t want to pick up your friend’s undies, or clean up their toilet bowl leftovers (eeeww!), they probably don’t want to sort out yours either. Check out how to get your basic cleaning done without too much effort, plus how to sort out who does what, in simple steps to clean your house.

What will you buy together?

Will you share food? What about other stuff like laundry supplies? Or do you prefer to get your own stuff and have separate shelves in the fridge and cupboards, say? Maybe you prefer to buy your own toiletries but get things like soap, toothpaste and washing up liquid in a joint shop? It’s up to all house members to work out and agree on what suits your household best.

Whatever you do, DON’T use your flatmates’ stuff without asking.

But what’s the harm in a little shampoo here and there, you say? Well it quickly adds up; ditto for the non-smoker that’s always grabbing a ciggie; or the person who expects everyone else to grab milk but always uses the last of it up.

Bottom line? Get your own stuff, or put in money with your housemate to share theirs.

What should house-guests pay?

If a lover or friend stays over regularly they should chip something in. It’s a real pain if the boyfriend constantly uses the last of the toilet paper, for example, and never buys any. If partners can’t afford to pay some of the rent, they should at least buy some food and/or pay some bills. Talk about it as a household and work something out so you’re all happy, or stay at their house instead.

What’s the deal with partying?

Is it ok? Can you just rock up with your guests or do you need to give notice? How many people is ok? What times are ok? Someone with early starts isn’t going to be stoked about parties all week, are they? The main thing is to have a basic idea of what everyone needs to be happy.

Anything else?

Get things out in the open early on if they are important to you. Even things like using the bathroom for long periods can turn into a problem, so if you need it for a quick shower at 7.30am each day to get to work on time, let people know so they don’t regularly settle in for the long haul at 7.15am, say (last night’s curry permitting, of course).

Compromise, compromise, compromise.

The thing is, no one’s perfect (yep, not even you!), and moving out for the first time is a huge change. We’re all different, and even if you know your housemates well, they’ll still surprise you (even freak you out) with some of the things they do (pimple squeezing on the mirror, anyone?). If it’s not hurting or seriously worrying you, try to see their perspective and/or work something out with them (ask them to shut the door and clean the mirror – sorted).

Dealing with conflict

Have a plan to handle trouble before it happens – like a regular meeting over dinner or a coffee where you get to bring up problems. Or, if you’re a scaredy-cat and hate confrontation, get a chalkboard you can all write things that bother you on (just don’t make it too petty, or you’ll piss people off and nobody will listen when you have a real problem).

Control yourself:

People fight, that’s normal, but only you control your actions – own them. Even if someone’s provoking you, you’re in the wrong if you lash out and hit a wall (plus it’s expensive to fix), and someone can die or be permanently disabled from one unlucky punch (jail time, anyone?). Take a breath and walk away. Solve it with a cool head.

Don’t rush to blame your housemates for stuff.

Your memory isn’t fool-proof, and neither is theirs. So, your wallet’s on the table then it’s gone? It might not be your housemate, thieves pop in and out of houses in a flash. Police once rocked up with my wallet (found in a drug raid) and I didn’t even know it was missing yet. It’s hard to get along once you’ve accused someone of stealing or something else bad.

Struggling to find common ground with your housemates?

If it’s getting out of hand, try mediation, for example, from your local community justice centre (you can find some links to mediation and free or cheap legal advice at useful websites: renting). Mediation or counselling is often free, and is always worth a try before more serious measures such as taking someone to court (which usually costs a bomb, often even if you win).

Finding The Right Housemates

Need a roomie?

If you’ve got the house but nobody to share with, you’ll need to find housemates, and ideally ones that will suit you.

See the checklist on finding a good housemate for questions to ask.

You can advertise on noticeboards or sites linked to your place of study or local areas, and sites like gumtree and Craigslist are also a useful place to post or check out other people’s ads.

You can also link up with people looking to share in your area through lots of different house-share and real-estate based sites, plus they often have useful tips and info for renters.

Be careful though, scammers may use these sites too – make sure to check out Avoiding birds of prey…tips to avoid scams, to find out how to best protect yourself. These tips are important and will only take a sec to read.

Get the best housemates for you

Basically, you want to live with people you can get along with who expect similar things from a housemate as you do.

The first step to finding someone is to meet up and chat. Are you basically on the same page with lifestyle things like habits and schedules? Do you agree with them about chores and paying the bills?

Get a feel for what they’re like starting with this checklist to find a good housemate.

Plus, if you’re checking out a room, you’ll also need to ask extra questions. Add in the questions in finding a suitable room plus anything else you think is important.

Warning… Always trust your intuition. If you get a weird vibe it’s probably best to find somewhere or somebody else — they may not be compatible with you, or they may have something else weird going on like a drug problem, people locked in a dungeon, who knows, but probably best to avoid moving in with them.

Moving in with partners

It can be a problem if things go pear-shaped and you’re stuck with each other and a lease you can’t get out of. No matter how hunky-dory it is now, it’s always a risk (seen the divorce rate?).

At least go in with your eyes open and be clear on who owns what and whose name everything is in –- just in case

Happy house tip: Don’t rush to blame your housemates for stuff.

Your memory isn’t fool-proof, and neither is theirs.

So, your wallet’s on the table then it’s gone? It might not be your housemate, thieves pop in and out of houses in a flash. Police once rocked up with my wallet (found in a drug raid) and I didn’t even know it was missing yet.

It’s hard to get along once you’ve accused someone of stealing or something else.

Moving in with friends

This can be fun, but only if you start off with a good understanding of what to expect, and you have clear boundaries (this is super-important).

Living together is about more than getting along – you have to be compatible enough in habits (is he a slob but you’re a neat freak? Uh oh!), plus you can’t live in each other’s pockets or you’ll get sick of each other. Ideally, if you’re moving in with friends, make sure you keep your own life and some of your own friends.

Also think hard before moving in with a couple, it can sometimes be tricky to share with a couple if you’re single – you’ll always be outnumbered in decisions plus, frankly, it can be annoying to have a couple snuggling up next to you every night (ok, sour grapes).

Not to mention how uncomfortable things can get if they fight or break up and you’re the one passing the salt across a stony silent dinner table. Just a thought.

Once you’ve found someone to live with, there are lots of things you can do to keep the house running smoothly.

Check out these handy tips to get along to prevent things going pear-shaped with your new roomies.

Plus sign up on the homepage or follow us on social media to see new posts & tips as soon as they’re released.

getting along, housemates, flatmates, avoiding conflict — Sometimes it’s best to just grin & bear it…

Housemate from hell, anyone?

Busting to move out of home, Dizzy (yep, not her real name) found a place with a former school friend.

At first it was heaps of fun – decorating with beanbags and candles and enjoying the late nights drinking vodka and raspberry. But as Dizzy made new friends she started getting cranky phone calls from her housemate. Next she noticed her toothbrush was wet each day so she got a new one to carry around. Then her clean clothes came from the cupboard smelling of smoke and BO. When her underwear started disappearing (surely there were more in the drawer yesterday???) then she woke up to her friend in her bed staring at her, that was it – she asked to break the lease, and, luckily, in her case, the landlord agreed.

Of course, not everyone will fixate on their flatmate and turn into a psycho, but moving out is a huge emotional change, and anyone will get irrational, angry or upset at times. It can be trickier to manage boundaries if you’re friends first, then housemates.

Had a housemate disaster? Let us know in the comments! We love crazy stories…

Many households fall apart when mates live together, especially if one hooks up and the other stays solo.

You might miss your old buddy or, worst-case, even have a fling with your bestie’s partner. Yes, that old clichéd love triangle is a cliché for a reason. When people spend heaps of time together, one thing can lead to another; wink, wink. Bye bye friendship. Hello, daytime soap opera.

Remember that a decision like this WILL, sadly, be with you for life…and possibly on facebook.

My tip? Don’t go there. Usually it’s the friendship you’ll be missing, long after the affair.

Struggling to find common ground with your housemates?

If it’s getting out of hand, try mediation, for example, from your local community justice centre (you can find some links to mediation and free or cheap legal advice at useful websites: renting).

Mediation or counselling is often free, and is always worth a try before more serious measures such as taking someone to court (which usually costs a bomb, often even if you win).

For heaps of funny stories about flatmates from hell, read He died with a felafel in his hand by John Birmingham.

It’s a hysterical read, and quite informative.