I’m just really tired…and kind of sticky…

Pranks for your roomies

Once you’ve found the right roomies, you’ll probably want to prank them at some stage, as long as it’s good, clean (well, maybe not so clean) fun.

Stupid pranks go with the territory – just don’t hurt anyone.

I just wish I’d seen the mobile phone cookie prank before I got a fine for talking on my phone while driving…check it out on my twitter feed via BestPranks@Derpey. The cops rock up to fine you, and chomp, take a bite of your phone and ask them if cookies are illegal. Hehe.

Always in style pranks

Toilet paper? Or a prankster’s kit essential?

• After everyone’s gone to bed for the night you sneak out to do the old plastic wrap under the toilet seat. Your roommate heads to the bathroom in the night and #eeew!
• Need a break from each other? Maybe you feel your flatmate needs some time out? Simple! All it takes is a roll of duct tape across their door and you can breathe in that sweet serenity. Well, until they get themselves out anyway…
• Unscrew your shower-head and put a food powder like beef or chicken stock, or an instant drink mix like Tang or Nesquik inside. Mmmm, tasty shower. Best served up with a stonking hangover.
• T-P someone’s room (a.k.a. wrap everything in toilet paper). You can do this to whole houses too, but it’s not very good for the environment. But I suppose little old you isn’t doing that much environmental vandalism. You recycle, right? Ok, so grab an extra pack of toilet paper in your shop and head to your target’s house late in the dark night (this is definitely more fun to do together with friends). Be creative, throw a few rolls over the roof and trees, wrap the mailbox and shrubs and fences, even leave a cute driveway message in flour. If you’re just doing their room, carefully wrap each item then replace.
• Another handy room trick is to fill a bedroom with scrunched-up newspaper. Who said newspapers are redundant these days? So cheap, plus so infuriating for your flatmate to have an avalanche of ‘prepared earlier’ paper tumble out. Then they can catch up on the daily news while they clean up! Thanks guys…
• A pack of balloons also doesn’t cost much, although they’ll be hard to blow up if you’re smokers. Yet another reason to quit (see smoking stuff and party drugs for useful links to help). But if you have the lungs, fill that room with colour! And plenty of annoying balls of rubber, before your buddy gets home.

Trick questions

• Innocently ask your flatmate how their balance is. Let them see you trying to balance a beer on the back of your hand. Ask them, “can you balance these beers on the back of your hands?” Put them on. Walk away.
• Is your flatmate keen for some extra cash? Tell them you’re a bit bored, but you’ll give them some cash if you can spice things up a bit by cracking a couple of eggs on their head. Crack one then leave. No cash required. Smirk.

Cold shoulder pranks

#1 Freeze stuff that’s important to them. Like car keys. Credit card. Entire cutlery drawer in a ziplock bag of water.

#2 Who doesn’t love the plastic bug in an icecube gag? It’s best to make use of their fave phobia (spider, cockroach, fly etc), and grab some fakes from a toy, joke or discount store. Just place the bugs into an icecube tray, cover with water and freeze, then voila! Make your buddy a refreshing beer, cocktail, cordial or whatever after their long day’s work or study and wait for the drama to unfold.

Refrigerator pranks

• Remove their food from the packaging, replace it with something else, then retape it or glue it up. It’s best to use something that they love or are looking forward to eating, like chocolate (preferably that you also love, since it’ll need to be disposed of. Wink, wink). Swap it for something that feels the same. Wait.
• So you have a veggie housemate who doesn’t eat food with a face? Give everything a face! Go crazy with the fridge and cupboard. Draw faces on with permanent marker or, better still, grab some stick on craft googly eyes from a fabric or discount store and dress up those innocent pickles, carrots, tofu packs and sauces. Gasp at them in shock as they grab an apple…with a face.

Nooo…don’t eat me!

Noisy, annoying shit

• Hide an alarm clock in your roomie’s bedside, under their bed, or wherever, and set it to some freaky hour. Better still, hide a few, and stagger the times.
• Use a phone call app like phone gangster to call your housemates at an unhealthy hour, then enjoy the chaos until they work out what the hell is going on.

Best happy-snaps

• Ah, good old shaving cream! So many uses, except for shaving, that is (come on, who actually bothers?). Use it to decorate your buddy when they’re a little, ahem, under the weather, and don’t forget to take a cute snap or ten for social media. Plus ask them if you can share, then add it to our comments or twitter feed or fb.
• This kind of trick also works well with a mask made out of kiddie slime (grab a tub cheap from toy shops, and simply pull it out flat like a slimy pancake, and shape a couple of holes for eyes, then gently ease it over your flatmate’s face. Kind of like a cheap spa facial with that added hint of instant scary. See pic at start.).
• Or maybe decorate their car for them with plenty of shaving cream when they’re out. Look at it as a bit of fun, PLUS helping them out if it’s dirty. Sooo considerate.
• Is your housemate considering a moustache? Or maybe they just can’t grow a thick bushy or fancy-shaped one, no matter how they try? Perhaps they’re female but you think they’d look kinda cute with a mo? Wait until they’re passed out from exhaustion or whatevs one night then help them out by drawing on a ‘stache in permanent marker so they can try before they buy. Don’t do it before a wedding or special occasion though. That’s a bit too mean.

Halloween at home

• Make a stuffed dummy out of pillows, sheets and your roommate’s clothes, then pop it somewhere they can’t avoid it, like the hallway or even sitting on the toilet.
• Even better? Sometimes 2nd-hand stores sell cheap clothing mannequins. There are just so many prank uses for these. Dress it up and freak out your flatmates. Tie a rope to it and slide it over the balcony as drunk party peeps wander past your place. Dress it in a balaclava and pop it into your housemate’s bed while they’re asleep. If you can’t wait for the reaction, grab a broom handle and poke them from afar to wake them. Record it for posterity.

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